I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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