Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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