i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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