And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize