Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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