dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
