Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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