I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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