So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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