I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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