I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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