Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
