i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
