I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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