so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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