Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
