I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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