he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
