My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
