Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
