3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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