P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
