it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This is my life. Enjoy the view
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
