I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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