I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
