He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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