somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
