a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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