WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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