Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize