1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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