dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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