I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
