Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
