Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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