Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Soap is not a condiment
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
