what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
