may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
