just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
