Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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