Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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