So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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