i don't like sucking hair
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
