My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
