Midget sex pt 2 tonight
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Randomize