Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
