If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
