The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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