oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
