the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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