She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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