I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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