He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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