ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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