I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
