Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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