Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize