Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
