Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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