Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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