a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize