Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
