we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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