I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
