I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
