I wanna passion pit in your ass
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
