Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
