I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
